Category Archives: LGBTQ

Black Men DO Breastfeed!: Why Black Transgendered Breastfeeding Narratives Matter #BlkBfing

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Posted by in LGBTQ, manmilk

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Bear and his 15-month-old daughter. Image taken and posted with permission.

I found out about Bear when I facilitated a workshop on challenging racism in birth and breastfeeding for a non-profit anti racism organization I volunteer for just over a week ago. The connection came from a white trans* man who was in the audience, and as soon as I mentioned somewhere in my facilitation that for a while I had been interested in hearing the stories of Black LGBTQ breastfeeders, in order to understand breastfeeding through this particular lens but had come up completely empty-handed, he chimed in — and told me about Bear, who he mentioned was biologically female, but is a transgendered male, even binding his breasts at times and breastfeeds his daughter.

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Image taken and posted with permission.

I have to be honest that I was just as excited as I was curious about meeting Bear and his 15-month-old daughter who he calls his ‘Mini Me’. Without objectifying or placing either one of them under an ‘objective’ microscope, I had questions. There were things I wanted to know and my inconceivable excitement came from the fact that I had been looking forward to a moment like this for at least a year and a half, searching high and low for Black breastfeeders anywhere along the LGBTQ spectrum (aside from the few Black lesbian mothers in my own social circle I know). When my initial attempts didn’t produce any fruit, I searched some more and when I came up empty- handed there I searched again — more formally but without avail. There was even no breastfeeding in published scholarship about Black lesbian motherhood (Bear himself mentioned he didn’t even know of any other trans* breastfeeders aside from the ones from a group on facebook). I wanted to see how Black breastfeeding is experienced among those considered ‘non-gender conforming,’ those involved in same-sex and same gender loving relationships: the activist in me wants to see more practical breastfeeding among — all Black people. The social scientist and anthropologist in me wants to understand the form and function in Black breastfeeding — nuances. As I’ve mentioned before around here I don’t mean to imply that ‘you’re nobody unless somebody studies you’ — far from it. But I do believe that to be most effective in reaching a goal that combats the inequity among Black breastfeeding and gaining a better understanding of others’ outlook, it requires being multifaceted and holistic — covering all aspects and viewing this tradition through as many lenses as possible in order to acknowledge, as best as we can, how each is experienced, to most effectively work on supporting these different angels. In addition to challenging systematic oppression — racism, class elitism, white supremacy, and seeing how other areas such as mental illness may have an effect, understanding different angels helps us confront our own biases and the significant role they play in inequity. What part do Black breastfeeding advocates play in hindering Black breastfeeding?

When he and I met at Starbucks and decided to walk around downtown for a few minutes while we tried to determine where to go sit down and chit chat, my first inclination was not necessarily to conduct an interview. Of course there were things I wanted to know — there was a lot I wanted to know — but it wan’t actually until all three of us were seated is when I asked if I could ask some specific questions, record the responses and post them on this blog.

The first thing I asked if it weirded him out when he found out I wanted to meet him so badly — a Black breastfeeding trans* man that he had heard about through his friend that belongs to a weekly transgendered meetup group he started. He responded that he wasn’t weirded out. That he was actually excited about it and thought it was ‘cool’ because of educational purposes — he said because it provided the opportunity to educate people. People don’t understand him, he said, and people are scared to ask questions. On that note I asked Bear (whose name comes from his friends) that myself, as a staunch breastfeeding activist and someone whose work inside and outside of my graduate program concentrates on Black breastfeeding, that although I have searched extensively I had yet to come across one single instance highlighting a Black trans* breastfeeding narrative, and that quite possibly upon publishing this post it may be the internet’s inaugural such write-up, what he would like anyone who came across it to know? His first response was to ‘not let anyone fuck with you!’

I believe that was a discussion on other trans* people. This, we know, comes from sentiments that surround transgendered people these days with outright prejudices that come from not conforming to what we may have been ascribed by society. Anthropologists will tell you that even though there seems to be a ‘quest’ these days to transform gender — some attempting to eradicate it altogether, that gender has always been around. And that even though there is a large critique of the binary, categorizing people as simply male or female, it has always existed. This is perhaps a response to colonial impact which castigated anything outside of the binary and the so-called normative model. But this isn’t to say that there weren’t additional genders in precolonial times because there was. But changing one’s causes contention. And it adds to the layers that Black people already contend with — so this is the case for someone who was born and is still biologically female, who lives as a male.

Bear said that he’s a ‘free spirit’ and a ‘gender bender’ which he says means he makes his own pronouns, but mostly identifies as him or they.

So, this was exciting. Even though he openly breastfed ‘Mini Me’ in public, at times having his breasts fully exposed in the food court, he said that he usually covers, but that he forgot it that day but doesn’t pay anybody any attention — meaning he doesn’t care about the opinions of others when it comes to public nursing. He said he really didn’t care what people thought. Bear didn’t seem comfortable talking about his past at all — his childhood, which I was inclined to ask about as far as how he viewed himself, what life was like as a child — on when he came to understand his gender, and also where his breastfeeding influences came from but it was clear that that was not the most comfortable topic so I didn’t. When I asked him where he got his inspiration to breastfeed, he did mention that he didn’t receive any ‘inspiration’ or ‘encouragement’ from outside sources, but it was just something he knew he wanted to do. He did have a doula at his birth and also took breastfeeding classes. When I asked more about his breastfeeding experience he said that they had some issues in the beginning — sore nipple made breastfeeding hurt at first and then ‘Mini Me’ had trouble latching on but they got through it.

Bear and I didn’t have the chance (I really wanted) to discuss what additional layers are superimposed on his identity — what makes Black trans* breastfeeding Black trans* breastfeeding and the complexities of challenging racism in addition to all other facets — there was a little one who thought it would be better to play and romp around rather than have us talk identity. But we’ll get to that conversation soon enough, I know it.

Bear did said that he is slowly transitioning from female to male, intending to fully transition but said he wants to take his time and that maybe one day he will have another child. He said that he’s on a small amount of ‘T’ (testosterone), and that  ‘T’ is safe to take in low doses while breastfeeding since it doesn’t interfere with milk production. For now I asked him if he had any advice for other Black trans* breastfeeders. His was to ‘don’t let them get to you. It’s natural. Tell them to leave you the fuck alone.’ I think that says a lot.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

P.S. at the end of next month I am going to Mississippi, USA to research Black breastfeeding and to connect it to a larger picture on the history of Black people as a whole, in order to find answers and to continue working on eradicating inequity and disparities. I received a small amount of funding from my department for this pilot research but it does not cover all aspects. I created a gofundme account to help with costs not covered by my department. Please consider visiting the link below and helping to support this important work by pitching in what you can.

What I’m Reading :: Black LGBTQ Annotated Bibliography ‘On Black Feminism, Health and Motherhood’

Sunday, March 23, 2014

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Below is the annotated bibliography from the Black lesbian breastfeeding independent study I just finished. I have to be honest when I say that this was probably one of thee most grueling documents I’ve ever constructed. Why? Because nothing exists on what I was looking for and I found myself more frustrated than not most of the time digging and digging and coming up empty handed. After all that research I came to find out that Black lesbians really don’t breastfeed. OK, I know that’s not really accurate. But I found nothing on the topic. Zilch. I don’t mean to suggest that scientific and empirical evidence is what ‘humanizes’ someone. AT ALL. Nor do I mean to have the attitude that ‘you’re no one unless someone studies you’. That really goes against my own beliefs in traditional knowledge and such. But the fact that conversations about breastfeeding remain absent in breastfeeding promotion, studies on Black motherhood, Black feminist discourse, Black lesbian motherhood and HEALTH….. speaks volumes. What exactly it is saying — I don’t know right now. But I’ve always said to pay close attention to what you see and even closer attention to what you don’t.

Something interesting and true statement  from a dissertation I came across called Nipple Matters:  A Black Feminist Analysis of the Politics of Infant Feeding for Black Mothers (citation is below), is that the author says exploring the areas of breastfeeding among Black lesbian women just may do us some good, allowing us to see the possible differences. This is what she said at the beginning of that document:

‘there were no questions directed toward same-sex relationships, and/or the dynamics of negotiating infant feeding in a non-heteronormative context. This omission points to a gap not only in my research project, but also in the broader realm of research on queer black mothers and infant feeding. Further studies should consider the experiences of lesbians and transgendered Black mothers, as those voices would surely elucidate the (potentially) different venues for navigating infant feeding in this subgroup of black women.’

Another interesting thing I read that I didn’t know about before is that according to some — particularly in Improving Access to Health Care Among African-American, Asian and Pacific Islander, and Latino Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Populations and a couple others, lesbians are at greater risk for certain diseases — cancers and other such diseases, because they are less-likely to become pregnant than heterosexual women and therefore more likely to be prone to things that having a child helps divert. Did you know that? But then, from my perspective it gets more complicated and I’d have to ask questions like ‘who gets to live and thrive if more lesbians are giving birth? What do the social and political circumstances look like? Socioeconomic and otherwise?’

I started on a quest for Black lesbian breastfeeding. When I realized I was running into a brick wall and could find nothing on the topic (and with the suggestion from the prof) I turned to gathering info on motherhood, since that is the next best thing and that inevitably has to lead somewhere. Since my work is rooted in Black feminist theory and I can’t even understand some things without this framework, there are some citations on that, too. Of course I know there is much more scholarship I could have added to the section but this was only a 2 credit independent study so there was only room for so much. My primary research interest overall is not to focus on Black lesbian breastfeeding. But I believe that in order to be truly effective in Black breastfeeding, exploring it from as many angles as possible is absolutely necessary. After Black Feminism there is ‘Health’ and then ‘Motherhood’. Anything with an * is from the annotated bibliography ‘Black Lesbians: An Annotated Bibliography’. Tell me what you think. And then leave a link in the comment section if there is a citation you’d like to add:

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What I’m Reading :: Black lesbians don’t breastfeed!! — in ‘invisible families: Gay Identities, Relationships, And Motherhood Among Black Women,’ that is! (Video)

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Posted by in Black Feminism, books, Ethnography, LGBTQ

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‘invisible families: Gay Identities, Relationships and Motherhood among Black Women’. University of California Press, 2011.

To be fair, I haven’t read this text yet. But I have done a pretty decent skim on parts of it and of course, when I first heard about it a few weeks ago via my Black Feminist Sociologist professor for the Black LGBTQ Breastfeeding independent study I’m taking, I swiftly checked it out from the library, and as you can guess went directly to the index and flipped around to find anything ‘breastfeeding,’ ‘lactation,’ ‘nursing’ but there was nothing on either one. Even though that disappointed me, I am excited to see this around. Its author, Mignon Moore, is a gay Black Feminist Sociologist and professor at the University of California, Los Angeles, who did a three-year ethnography on Black lesbians and their families because, as she says,  it dawned on her one day that this group appeared to be ‘invisible’.

If you don’t know me, then I should tell you that when I set my mind to something I become almost obsessed with it for some time — until I feel I am satisfied with certain results. In this case, this is what has been happening over the past several months, with wanting to get my hands on anything Black LGBTQ breastfeeding. But more than just being ‘obsessed,’ in my own ‘ lactation journey’ I realized I had never seen or heard of a unique story of Black LGBTQ breastfeeding (besides those from within my own social circle), and like I’ve said before I feel that most — if not most all breastfeeding discourse appears to operate as a one-size-fits-all approach and concentrates on getting a baby attached to a breast, without focusing on those many nuances that make up a larger structure and create the culture and sub-cultures of breastfeeding. I want to see those ‘invisible’ breastfeeders. I haven’t found anything at all that deals with breastfeeding among Black lesbians or anyone in the other sectors of GBTQ, and I am just not OK with that. And since I’m having such a hard time finding what I’m searching for, I’m that more determined to dig deeper and wherever I can.

Here’s what the back of the book’s cover says:

Mignon R. Moore brings to light the family life of a group that has been largely invisible—gay women of color. Drawing from interviews and surveys, she explores the ways that race and class have influenced how these women understand their sexual orientation, find partners, and form families, illuminating the ways in which people with multiple stigmatized identities imagine and construct an individual and collective sense of self.

And a bit more from amazon

In particular, the study looks at the ways in which the past experiences of women who came of age in the 1960s and 1970s shape their thinking, and have structured their lives in communities that are not always accepting of their openly gay status. Overturning generalizations about lesbian families derived largely from research focused on white, middle-class feminists, Invisible Families reveals experiences within black American and Caribbean communities as it asks how people with multiple stigmatized identities imagine and construct an individual and collective sense of self.

From what I see, Mignon Moore looks at what frames these ‘invisible families’ among Black lesbians and how identity operates in this context, instead of concentrating on practical aspects, for example — a couple of chapters are titled ‘Gender Presentation,’ ‘Family Life and Gendered Relations’ and (for me can) show how that site can be used to explore a more complicated scenario.

I found the video above with Mignon Moore discussing the book — she appears around the 22 minute mark. What I found most interesting besides the fact that she states how much academic work there isn’t on the Black lesbian motherhood experience, is that she says gender presentation is more obvious in Black lesbian communities than in white ones, and says that the mixture of racism in society, along with inequality and different ideas on what womanhood is (and is supposed to look like) makes these Black lesbian women (who are more ‘gender bending’) ‘brave’. I’ve thought about this before, but not necessarily in the context of Black lesbians, but I can see where she is coming from. My other thoughts that I have have mostly stemmed from bell hooks, when she discusses Black women’s gender identity in ‘Ain’t I A Woman,’ and in my mind I think about the ‘respectability’ that Moore discusses here — how women are supposed to look a certain way, yet present themselves differently– and that way I know that Black women have been ‘masculanized’, according to what history tells us and also what hooks says — how Black women were treated in public spaces that rejected their presentation of femininity. I’m not sure where to take these thought right now, exactly — though I have wondered about how this impacts Black breastfeeding, but it is definitely something that’s on my mind even moreso now. I’ll update this post when I’ve read this book in full, and tell you all what else I’ve paid attention to. 

For now, I’m happy to see this work, and even though it would be nice to see anything discussing breastfeeding in the first and only text dealing exclusively with Black lesbian motherhood that I’ve ever seen — and more than likely the first and only text dealing exclusively with Black lesbian motherhood that exists, if indeed I don’t find one single character explicitly referring to the topic, I’ll look critically into that — because the absence also says a LOT (aside from the fact that viewing Black lesbian breastfeeders in a society where Black lesbian mothers are in the periphery is not surprising). But either way, I’m thankful for Dr. Moore and this much-needed scholarship. What an incredible contribution to the field of Black feminist thought, Sociology, LGBTQ studies, anthropology and various other disciplines and discourses overall! I’m going to read this cover to cover as soon as school ends in a few weeks — when I’m spring breaking, and on my way down to sunny Southern California to see my family and friends.

And I think you should read along. 

P.S. If you identify as Black or African American and fall anywhere along the LGBTQ spectrum, consider submitting an article for the upcoming blog carnival on Black LGBTQ Breastfeeding! Having a child and nursing it is NOT a requirement to participate! What counts is how you identify and your thoughts.

[Update to this post]: I mistakingly said that Mignon Moore describes some of the women as gender bending, which makes it sound like someone is ‘rebelling’ against a certain gender category. But instead the correct term she uses is gender BLENDING, which is quite different — enough to shape how we understand and interpret what she is saying. She describes gender blending as ‘a style related to, but distinct from, an androgynous presentation of self…. Rather than de-emphasize femininity or masculinity, gender-blenders combine specific aspects of both to create a unique look.’

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What I’m (Planning On) Reading :: Do Black Lesbians Breastfeed?

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Posted by in books, education, LGBTQ

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‘Black Lesbian’ symbol coined by Eileen M. Hayes
Ref: Songs in Black and Lavender: Race, Sexual Politics and Women’s Music. University of Illinois Press. 2010.

I just signed up to take an independent study on Black lesbians. And I’m so super excited about it! 

You all know that a few months back I posted an inquiry about Black LGBTQ breastfeeders and Black LGBTQ breastfeeding supporters to ‘Come Out’ — meaning, I have been wondering and questioning why there is such an invisibility among this group. I have been really curious to know why is it (besides the hetero, cis, Protestant, patriarchal structure, of course, I believe) that when I search the web hoping to find anything about a Black lesbian/dyke/queer/homosexual/same gender loving woman and her unique experience with this identity and nursing story, Google only feeds me links to adult websites. Or, why is it that despite the large effort on the part of so many breastfeeding advocates concerned with Black life do we only see and hear about a linear perspective which causes people to think that breastfeeding promotion only is lacking because white women dominate the sphere — which is how someone responded recently when I  expressed my disappointment with this veiled promotion. Now you know that I know that whiteness plays a large role in breastfeeding inequity — and in social inequity overall, that’s not even a category up for debate. But I think the story can be read a bit deeper. To me it appears that even people in the Black LGBTQ don’t want to discuss it in a more visible context — at least that’s what it seems like at the surface. I know it’s complicated to weave together all of the reasons why it appears so non-existent, but I think there is a reason why I have never found one single piece of scholarship exclusively discussing the topic at hand. I could be totally wrong, looking in the wrong places for all of this — or looking from an incorrect angle, which is absolutely possible.

I’m not jumping on this bandwagon that looks at this group because it’s the ‘cool’ and the ‘in’ thing to do these days. I truly believe (and I hope that you will agree with me), that in order to get any type of real grasp on breastfeeding and disparities among the Black community, it requires looking through as many cultural lenses as we can to get a larger, more all-encompassing picture to formulate new ways to work towards our cause and move away from what in my own opinion looks like a ‘one-size-fits-all’ approach. This is why I plan on leaving no stone unturned — or, at least it is why I am going to make my best effort to look under as many of them as I can, whether I’m discussing Black lesbians and breastfeeding or anything else related to this subject.

**My independent study prof told me to start off by looking for articles and literature and gathering citations on Black Feminist Thought/Theory, Black lesbians and heath disparities, and Black lesbian women and reproductive labor (family formation, child rearing, etc), since this is a way to begin by looking at a larger picture for specific evidence. For this course, my assignment will be to construct an annotated bibliography which lists titles of articles and a small bit of information for each one. I think it is such a necessary starting point in order to find out who has written about what and to guide me on my future research for this information. If you find links to articles, book titles, journals or such about the topic at hand that you want to send my way, then by all means please do. And, if you identify as Black or African American, Afro-LGBTQ and anywhere along a ‘non gender, sexuality conforming’ spectrum and want to share your own story or perspective about breastfeeding in the Blog Carnival that’s soon to go on around here (you don’t have to have or have nursed a child in order to participate) then read the post below and send me your work!

BLACK LGBTQ BREASTFEEDERS BLOG CARNIVAL CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS

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‘Black Lesbians: An Annotated Bibliography’. Naiad Press, 1981.

BTW, I just ordered the text above from an online bookstore. It’s an annotated bibliography from 1981 with nearly 350 citations on Black lesbians (all compiled by a white lesbian, fyi). I figure this is akin to a small jackpot because I’m certain to find what I’m looking for on breastfeeding and/or motherhood in here — at least something that leads me on my way. And if I don’t, then I just don’t know what to say.

Word(less words) Wednesday: BLACK LGBTQ BREASTFEEDERS (and supporters): ‘Come Out’ Wherever you are!

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Posted by in LGBTQ, Uncategorized, Wordless Wednesday

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Image source: http://daughterofzami.tumblr.com/post/20349969966

Image source: http://daughterofzami.tumblr.com/post/20349969966

After I typed ‘African American lesbian breastfeeding’ into a google search, I was disappointed but unfortunately not really surprised, by the results of what wasn’t there. I guess I was just a tad more hopeful about what I would find this time around than on previous searches — that returned pages of links to pornographic websites with descriptions of who is going to do what to who and how. I was thinking that maybe I’d be able to read something about a Black lesbian woman and her thoughts on breastfeeding — maybe a story about her life and what she has experienced with these identities and this important topic — triumphs or even complications — anything.

I had known for some time that the unique experiences of breastfeeding among Black and African American lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered folks in this realm seems to be non-existent. Or, it’s not that they are non-existent, however, they just continue to be overlooked and hidden among the great majority of advocacy and discourse — with the overwhelming amount, if not nearly all representation pinned-up against a heterosexual and cisgendered backdrop.

The image above of lesbian activist Staceyann Chin (who I understand is of Jamaican and Chinese heritage), was on page three of my search. It came before one other link to a novel about a Black woman living in a heteronormative society — which was a couple pages later — but not before a young, white woman’s mockery in a post titled ‘LOOK! It’s a Black Lesbian Breastfeeding!’ but laughed it off since it wasn’t real, and was only a way for her to try and, as she put it ‘get some attention ha ha..’ Of course the bulk of what followed was hypersexuality, though there were a few articles on queer identity as a component of a person’s profile in the medical industry, for example. Still, there was nothing at all related to being a person of African Descent that humanized the everyday lived experience of being gay and breastfeeding.

I’ve decided to host a blog carnival here titled Black LGBTQ Breastfeeders: ‘Coming Out’ of the (BLACK) Breastfeeding Closet, and it is a way for all Black and African American LGBTQ-identified past, current or future breastfeeders and supporters who also identify as Afro-LGBTQ to convene in this place. A blog carnival is in many ways an online anthology. It calls for various people who can relate to, or who fit the sought after criteria, to weigh in on the subject at hand; this is done by submitting articles and essays you’ve written, poems, YouTube videos you have made and such from your perspective. The link at the beginning of this paragraph contains the list of details in that official ‘Call for Submissions,’ for anyone who wishes to participate. That is also where you will turn in your submissions by the deadline, and they will be published in the upcoming edition on this website. Of course if you still have any other questions you are able to contact me. African American Breastfeeding

I believe all points of view have value and add to this important topic. Regardless of your gender, whether you’ve breastfed, plan on it, have never done so, never plan on it, if you believe your identity may have prevented you from a successful breastfeeding relationship (like it almost did to a friend of mine), you wish so share a personal narrative or anything else along these lines I hope you will add to this long overdue conversation. I also hope that you will encourage a few others who may wish to join in on it. Because I’ve always thought that the current one — on breastfeeding among Black people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered and queer, that exists — or, that does not exist — needs to change.

Click here for more info and to submit your post to this carnival! 

Or send it directly to lactationjourney (at) hotmail (dot) com

Note: The penultimate paragraph of this post was slightly changed and updated. I did not feel the original conveyed a clear message that this is indeed a ‘Call for Submissions’ and a request for posts on this topic for this upcoming carnival. I wanted to make sure I cleared up any potential misunderstanding or confusion. This also was really intended to be a ‘less words’ post and not a small novel. J 

Keepin’ It REAL: There’s Power (and life) In The (un)Romanticized Breastfeeding Tradition + #DoulaProgression

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Posted by in Doula Progression, LGBTQ, Uncategorized

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At the end of May I traveled up north to Xwlil’xhwm, to help a friend with her baby. Xwlil’xhwm is the pre-colonial name for Bowen Island, British Columbia, a city just outside of Vancouver, in Canada. Even though the reasons I was there weren’t the greatest (my friend has ruptured discs in her back and literally could not lift her daughter for diaper changes, baths, or for anything else), I really enjoyed being there and being able to help out.Being at the home of a radical Black Feminist queer human rights lawyer, for two weeks, as you could probably guess, had its amazing moments — I’m sure you can imagine some of the discussions we had. Aside from being in the company of someone with congenial worldviews, and having those conversations Black women have in each other’s presence that affirm our very existence, something I was so impressed with in is her outlook on Black breastfeeding — her progression, where she went from being adamantly against the tradition to where she now ‘cannot imagine not being able to have breastfed’ her now one-year-old daughter. It really made me think about the way we discuss the tradition and also the power of ‘keeping it real’.Let me explain what I mean.*I asked my friend for permission to share some of her story on this blog*

Even though she lives in an environment where breastfeeding is promoted much more than here in the U.S. (even though she says this is just a surface level idea, since actual support is greatly lacking), when I first mentioned breastfeeding to her when she was just entering her second trimester — about the importance of breastfeeding for Black woman, she, like so many others in our culture, was not buying it. The messages about our bodies being reserves for others, along with other areas of concern about gender identity, was at the forefront of her thoughts. After that seed was planted, and with some encouragement to examine her biases and trust herself, she began looking into the tradition more.

She will be the first to tell you that she did not want to breastfeed. That initially she did so begrudgingly, even after she began learning of the benefits. That she wanted her daughter to have the best health possible, was still met with reluctance. Some people may view this as ‘selfish’ but I view this as a very powerful and something that can allow us to draw more people in and examine the deeper issues of breastfeeding for Black women and Black people, who feel this way but never truly discuss it. I think it humanizes our experiences. And it humanizes breastfeeding, and can help start new conversations on what it means to our community.

I can’t help but think about breastfeeding and the way it is always romanticized — how most only discuss how much they are in love with it. I’m not saying that many women who breastfeed do not have feelings of overwhelming joy when it comes to being close to their child in this way — I’ve heard many of those. But I don’t think I’ve ever heard of another woman who said they just did not want to breastfeed because of the reasons stated above, and only did so because of the benefits. Usually I find that aside from a few stories about how to decrease pain or hearing about other issues with practical matters — engorgement, for example, often times these conversations about deeper issues and how this truly affects our desire or even ability to breastfeed, are lacking.

Am I making myself clear?

Another friend of mine talks about issues within the Black community — about how our ‘secrets’ have been and are continuing to kill us. She says in order to continue to live, we must talk about things that are not easy to talk about, and that telling her story keeps her alive. I know some pretty awesome people. And I’m sure you can see where this is going in the context of breastfeeding.

Today my friend is even impressed at how far she has come. She says she cannot imagine not having breastfed, and recognizes that even though it took a long time to get to the point where she is now (and she has exclusively breastfed her daughter since birth), instead of viewing her milk as only nourishment, she recognizes breastfeeding for Black women as a site of empowerment, where issues that have been steeped deep in racism, gender normative identity, white-centric views and separation of Black women and our children, can be deconstructed. Nursing is her baby’s ‘home’. There was so much other good stuff we talked about in this area and I will definitely get into that eventually.

I think visiting was more than just about washing dishes and laundry, running errands and carrying a precious baby girl around. Aside from my love of Black women, and actually putting into practice that when I better care for other Black women I am better caring for myself, I truly believe being there opened an avenue towards a new set of ideas on ways to challenge issues that run deep in our community that have been situated for generations and viewed through this lens. I don’t agree with mainstream perspectives on how breasts, bodies and even gender identity and others are exploited, and are big issues situated between an infant and its mother (and many others), but while we work towards dismantling those notions, how do you think the idea of ‘keeping it real’ — hearing more stories of ‘breastfeeding begrudingly’ would work towards our cause?

#DoulaProgression

I thought I’d give you a quick progress report on my journey towards doula certification. The great news is I talked to Shafia Monroe the founder of ICTC, and she told me that my Certified Lactation Educator certificate will count as ‘auditing a breastfeeding class’, so that’s such a plus. Also, I’m just an inch from being signed-up for child CPR and will be taking this course soon. Next, I plan to audit a childbirth class, read and write a review/report on the last two books on the list — and oh ya, help some women give birth. I reckon that would help.

An LGBTQ #BFing Giveaway! (Closed)

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Posted by in Anti 'Breast Is Best', giveaways, LGBTQ

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I think it was getting out of the house the other day and seeing some friends that put me in a better mood (and I have to say a slightly silly one) than I had been in over the past few days — you know, with the Black enmity, and all. What also helped was watching these guys, who had me cracking up so hard my belly ached — so I decided to have a small giveaway! I created this pinback for the Anti ‘Breast Is Best’ Shop, since I didn’t really see anything out there denoting LGBTQ breastfeeding — so I just got a little creative and made something myself! The picture looks huge, but this one here is a 1¼ inch pinback, and really, really cute. Just read the details below to enter.

screen-capture-3

Leave a comment on this post by next Tuesday and it will count as your entry. All names will be entered with a winner selected at random via random.org, and announced in next week’s blog post. Leave your email address with your comment: yourname (at) emailserver {dot} com, net, etc. Winner must respond within 24 hours, or another will be selected. This giveaway is for one pinback, and is open to U.S and international participants.

[Update]: There were several of you who said you were unable to leave comments on this post, in order to enter. I am so sorry about that. I contacted the comment system disqus, who said things seem to be working OK. I am not sure if there was a glitch in the system but don’t worry — I’ll have another giveaway soon.Gay Pride Breastfeeding Pinback from the Anti ‘Breast Is Best’ Shop.* The majority of proceeds from purchases from the ‘Anti Breast Is Best’ Shop are recycled back into majority breastfeeding and birth-specific projects, and other community efforts. Special emphasis is placed on supporting work geared towards decolonizing human lactation.

Gay men, social control, anthropology and nursing in public. What do these all have in common?

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Posted by in anthropology, LGBTQ, nursing in public

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It never would have crossed my mind that trying to raise awareness around breastfeeding by calling into an internet radio talk show, would turn into an hot zone for confrontation — or that it would be a place where I’d find myself being called a ‘dyke’ or ‘ho’ in the middle of just about every other word from the room. I previously wrote in to the host and recommended a topic, since she always suggested we do so, and because I thought it would be a great opportunity to get more people to recognize the importance of breastfeeding, how it affects us all and just as crucially how we can find ways to support each other and get more people to pitch in. She decided it was a good topic, and I was very impressed when I found out she did some research of her own before beginning the program, and she and I talked for a while, while others listened in and used the chat room to talk more about the subject. And the show was going well. But of all the things that keep me awake at night, this one held me down with a special weight, and after a decent amount of crying from the intensity from everything that happened on Sunday, I fell asleep and had a nightmare, which is rare for me.

The tragedy here is that while talking about breastfeeding — the benefits to mother, child and overall society —  things were going so well. I really enjoyed speaking about why Black people need to make ourselves count in supporting breastfeeding women. And how just by doing so raises awareness and contributes to the overall health of our community — and empowers all of us. We also talked about other practical aspects, too, like colostrum, and fore and hind milk, infant formula and a number of other related topics. Things were fine! But that was all before the show went off the air and another listener called in to explain to us the reasons behind the ban on women who nurse in public, which she staunchly believed is because men — “gay men are controlling the strings in society and hate women’s bodies so much that they’ve stigmatized the act” — and the host agreed! But not only did these two women agree that gay men are the root cause of the issue, but also that “we live in a homosexual-based culture, and this is what society needs to see in order to get to the bottom of it all!” And they told me I needed to recognize that also.I won’t argue that men are at the root of public breastfeeding discrimination. That they have taken women’s bodies and continue to commodify and exploit them for sexual pleasure, is indisputable. That stance has been adopted by the majority of society to not see breasts as a site of nourishment for a baby, but for pleasure, and that we have, even as women, adopted that as truth. I won’t deny it. But I don’t really know how to take this — the gay thing. I don’t know how to put it in front of me and dissect it at all, except look at it for what it is — at face value.

Even though there’s a very big part of me that wishes I would have just left early on — that instead of sticking around and trying to change the perspective of these people by telling them that their so-called objective views on homosexuality are only perpetuating the division, neo-colonialist and puritanical views this room full of Pan Africanists oppose every Sunday afternoon I should have just folded. And even though I’ve been trying to get better about choosing exactly which battles I’ll fight, wonder what that would that have meant for me — as far as being compliant and supporting this viewpoint I feel so strongly against? But I just couldn’t wrap my brain around what they said. The society I live in denounces same-sex domestic partnerships, and just about everything else. It seems like on a daily I’m reading about another teen who has taken his own life, or how some legislature has been shot down prohibiting people who love each other form sharing a legal union, or that someone is fired, ostracized or killed. Maybe I missed something.The reality is by taking such a stance, the women on the line and the others in the chat room are not doing anything that contributes towards a more just environment nor helping to increase the health of future generations. It is not raising awareness, it is not getting more Black women to breastfeed and it is not helping to end disparities — especially the ones that affect those of us in the room the most. But the only thing I can hope for is that even in the midst of it all, there has to have been some kind of progress made — in breastfeeding and perspectives. And I do agree one one thing she said — that “Not being able to feed your baby in public is a form of oppression.”And this, my readers, is my 100th blog post.

After a great deal of reluctance, I have embedded the episode from that day. What is so unfortunate is the conversation went so well, until the show ended and we began to stream and another listener called in. On the link below, I call in at around the 63 minute mark and the other listener at 114 minutes, but shortly after that my cell phone signal dropped. Keep in mind this is not the entire episode, since once the show ends on Blog Talk Radio we move to the ‘After Party,’ a different forum where we are able to continue chatting through the online chat service as well as through webcam. It was insanity.Disclaimer: Queen Ifama always uses very strong language during each show. If you are sensitive to profanity, you may consider skipping over listening in.

         Queen Ifama AKA on Blog Talk Radio

Transgendered Men and Breastfeeding

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Posted by in LGBTQ

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Someone tweeted this article from the Milk Junkies website about transgendered men and lactation, which I thought was awesome, since I’d been on the hunt and it’s not something you hear everyday. The article provides information for lactation educators who find they don’t know how to address unique experiences of transgendered males:

Tips for Transgender Breastfeeders and Their Lactation Educators:

Latching will likely be particularly tough. Lactation advisers should know that trans men may face special challenges in latching their babies – accomplishing a deep latch can be very difficult with next to zero breast tissue. Teaching a trans man to make an effective “breast tissue sandwich” is essential to successful and reasonably comfortable breastfeeding. Using an SNS on top of this makes breastfeeding even harder. A first time trans breastfeeder will need lots of extra hands to help with latching and using the SNS

Lactation consultants should be aware that in the case of a trans guy who has not had any chest surgery, he may have practiced years of breast binding to flatten his chest, and this, of course, may affect milk production. There’s more — continue reading the article here.

I’m super excited about this story, since I’ve been wanting to find ones on the topic. I hope more transgendered folks share more of their experiences to help us help each other in the breastfeeing realm. Do you have anything to add?